Up in Flames....

Saturday was one of the scariest days of my life!!! What started as a somewhat comical event worthy of some crazy sitcom could have ended in tragedy for my family. My cousin called my mom's cell phone and asked where my grandma was, so my mom hands the cell to me and tells me to bring it to her... I walk down the hall, see the front door open, so I figure as usual my grandma decided to go sit on the porch. When I get outside, I see her sitting in a chair on the sidewalk in front of our house talking to some strange woman I didn't know. I decide to ignore this and just hand my grandma the phone and tell her that my cousin wanted to talk. It's then that I find out from the stranger that she was from across the street and my grandma had told her that some strangers had just pushed her out of a car and left her. When I explained the situation, she tell me that she had called the police and that my mom needed to come out. Then we spent another comical 10 minutes or so explaining to the officer that my grandma had moved all of the stuff from in front of our front door, snuck out, and forgot where she was. So we all had a good laugh, we calmed my grandma down, and called my cousin back to tell her what was going on. As it turns out, that earlier phone call is partially what precipitated all of these other events because she heard on her police radio that an elderly woman with my grandma's name said that she had been pushed out of someone's car. As the ruckus died down and we headed inside, things headed downhill. While my mom was outside she had left a pot of grease on to fry shrimp for dinner and it was starting to smoke. When I went out to relay what had happened to my family, the pot burst into flames. I partially blame myself for the rest of these happenings because I didn't turn the pot off, but at the moment I could only try to remember how to put out a grease fire. WATER IS NOT AN OPTION! So I handed my mom a pot top to smother the flames that had began to inch towards our ceiling. That didn't work. The flames were curling up around the side of the top. My mom then grabs a dish towel to try to knock out the excess flames. Then, in a moment when time seemed to simultaneously stop and go into overdrive, the pot fell off the stove and onto the floor. A huge fireball leaped up from the pot and scalding grease flew everywhere. At that moment I felt as if the world was burning to the ground. I ducked into the next room and feared for my mom's life because I could no longer see her through the flames. At this point I was coughing from the thick smoke that now blanketed our kitchen, thinking to myself that this is how those actors on TV would feel if they were in this situation for real instead of in another thrilling primetime slot. I ducked my head back in and was now relieved to see that my mom was ok and that while the flames had now spread to the rug (who puts rugs in kitchens), the flames had not engulfed the room and that my mom was still safe. As we continued to try to beat the flames into submission, my mom announced that it was futile and that the best we could do was try to drag the flaming rug out through the back door without setting the rest of the house on fire. So she grabbed the burning rug and I followed, smothering anything that was set alight as we made a calculated procession to the back door. Thankfully, we made it to the back steps without any further incident. It was at this time that my mom tells me that the grease hit her and her arm was painfully burning... She sent me to get something to put on it, the best thing being aloe vera. Being the wreck that I am, I had no idea she meant the plant by the back steps, instead I am shakily running through all of the room looking for a bottle of aloe. Literally shaking like a leaf, I put some aloe on her and beg her to go to the ER. At first she refuses, but after I buy her all sorts of OTC sprays and creams, she grudgingly agrees that we need a trip to the hospital. It is after midnight that we see an RN that somewhat indifferently tells us that it "sucks" that she got 1st and 2nd degree burns all over her right arm and hand, but that she would be fine. He then proceeds to tell me that he hates New Orleans and that I should join their ER staff because they all dislike people just like me...

Thank God we all survived mostly intact and with a home still, but I think it will be many years if ever that I can forget the emotions that this ordeal evoked, and the images of those flames are burned into my memory, just as the grease burned into my mother's skin.

Taking Advantage...

I am so tired of feeling like people are using me! Just because I am generally a nice person, that does not give you the right to demand ridiculous things and expect me to do them with no qualms. Could you at least be a decent human being and meet me halfway? Sadly, the answer is usually no...

I am 24 as of Sunday. I have ZERO kids!!! I do however have 9 nieces and nephews, and it seems like I am often babysitting 2 of them. I don't think that my sister realizes that they are in fact HER kids, or that she is not a child herself. So don't send your kids over to borrow milk and ask what's for dinner. How about you look in your own damn fridge and FIGURE IT OUT! Don't ask me if I want to babysit while you go out with 20 different guys every week, the answer is ALWAYS going to be no1 These ppl know you have kids, take them with you!!! Or pay me! And I don't mean in sushi...or in guilt trips when I occasionally ask you to pay for my hair appointments. I don't think she realizes this, but I am still a broke post-college student that doesn't have a job. Don't look at me when I ask you why you are in OUR kitchen asking what's for dinner. If I could have slapped her for answering, "I didn't ask you for anything...recently", I would have! Don't assume I'm gonna babysit cuz you asked, then reveal the fact you had no plans, you just decided to make some because you took my silence as an affirmation. I guess she's getting wise to my disgust, because now she'll ask my mom to babysit instead which means I am still forced to entertain the kiddies for the most part. And if your kids are gonna be out of school for TWO WEEKS (who does that? their school must SUCK) then maybe you should stay home, hire an actual babysitter, or PAY!!! Idk how you think the real world works, but this isn't it! And then she has the audacity to be pissed when I tell her that I need her to HELP me take care of my grandma for a weekend. ONE WEEKEND!!! Is that so hard? Ridiculous! Sorry I wanna hang out with my friends the 1 weekend that our parents are going to a golf tournament in Maryland? Don't ask me why they always have to be going somewhere, ask yourself that.

On the other end of the inconsiderate spectrum, you have my Hermanas!!! My ride-or-die chicas that apparently want me to die because they can't be bothered to drive down for the weekend. Forget the fact that I am doing you a favor by offering my help and my place for use FOR FREE. You can even forget the fact that over the past month I have driven to see them about 3 times, shelling out at least $20 per visit for gas. Guess what?!?! The I-10 goes in TWO DIRECTIONS! How about you come and visit me for a change instead of being lazy and using not having a car as an excuse. We know what excuses are.... Once again, I am doing them a favor when they get here, so it's not like I am just selfishly mad that they don't wanna spend time with me. I don't want your show to be total CRAP and reflect poorly on us all. Hell, I'll even chip in for your gas money, just get off your ass and take a drive!

Then there's the kid that seems miffed that she "didn't hear about" my personal life crisis. It wasn't a biggie, so stop being dramatic. It's nowhere near the fact that you were keeping shit from me that everybody else seemed to know anyway. You may not have told me, but you're not the only person that talks...I just sit back and listen and gather information. Who cares if your "ex" knocked up his girlfriend???? ...*crickets*... Nope. No one... Maybe you didn't tell me cuz you thought I would say you were stupid for caring, and maybe you're right. But it wouldn't be the first time, so I don't think of you any less now.... You'll live through it. So how is it that you stop talking to me and expect me to just spill my guts to you? I have no issue with talking to you, but before you say something about NOT knowing the story, maybe you should check to see if there is a story at all to be heard. Love you to death, but really...If everyone else in our little matrix of friends know, then I'm probably gonna hear about it too, and it would be nicer to hear it from you then have you beat around the bush and try to make me guess what happened when it has no relevance on your life or mine.

OMG! Random one. DAD! Stop stealing my damn food! I didn't cook for you! You went out for dinner, you didn't need to come back and take the rest of my shrimp scampi. And remember when Mama bought 2 pints of Cherry Garcia? Yeah, one was for me and one was for you. You ate yours...stop eyeing mine every time I take it out of the freezer. I know you guys provide for me, but really... Can I enjoy my Ben & Jerry's in peace?