Hard Out There For A Pimp...

Ever felt like you aren't the person that people see when they look at you? I'm sure the answer is 'yes' for just about 99.9% of the people that will ever ponder that question. The tougher part of that comes in when you decide why the answer is yes. Is it because they only assume what you are without getting to know you in order to learn the truth? Is it because who you are on the inside is not what you show to the public? Is it because you are not sure who the real you is? I'm sure one of those has been the case for everyone at least once. The last of those is the hardest to figure out. What do you do when you feel like the person you are is not the person you were born? In the case of transgendered individuals, many dress as the gender they identify with and eventually have a gender reassignment surgery. Difficult journey? DEFINITELY! But insurmountable? Certainly not...

What is there to do about being born into a culture that feels foreign to you? What type of surgery is there to remedy this? As culture is a learned societal behavior, what is there to do? You learn your culture and you live accordingly, but let's say you pick up certain characteristics that are borrowed from a group that you were not born into? As I was perusing the latest issue of LATINA magazine, I read an article that addressed the unique challenges faced by Afro-Latinas. The article spoke VOLUMES to me!!! It talked about how for decades, there had to be a choice between being Black or Hispanic, often being ostracized by both groups, often being stereotyped based on skin color, hair texture, whatever. I've had stuff like that happen to me, even as recent as last Friday night as I was carrying out my weekly ritual of getting my bachata(hate it, but it'sgrowing on me)-salsa-merengue on. Barely a night goes by where a guy will ask me where I'm from, and where in the world did I learn to move like that because, "you dance so well!" I always feel like that sentence trails off to...'for someone that looks like you'. I've had guys that sit and talk about me to my face in Spanish because of course no entiendo. On the flip side I have had 2 different guys walk up to me and ask, "Quiere bailar?" This didn't really bother me, since I understood the question, but a tiny part of me wondered did they assume that I also spoke Spanish since I had the dance part of the culture down? My loving boyfriend tells me that I'm just being paranoid, and reading too much into the situation. I'm trying to see it that way, and forget about it. I can't control what people think of me when they meet me, and I'm sure these guys aren't approaching with malice, I guess most of the time I'm just being sensitive.

Here's the fun part! Even though I have these Afro-Latina experiences, I do not fit the category! As far as I know, all of my most recent ancestors (except one of my great-great grandfather, whom I hear was white) are "100%" Black. And I guess I may have the proverbial Indian blood, but that's it. The only Latina heritage that I can lay claim to is the fact that I have studied Spanish since I was in 2nd grade, I love salsa and merengue, I have taken several trips to Mexico, and once studied abroad in Ecuador for the best 3 weeks of my life. So if culture is what I make it, then who am I? I'm Black, there's no negotiation there, but if you ask me am I apart of the culture, my only answer is that I feel it in my blood.

Today is not the first time I've faced this conundrum in my life, I feel like I'm too much of so many things to just be defined by any one of those things alone. I need a title like Black-almost-latina-likes-sushi-ramen-and Korean-but speaks-Spanglish-and-loves-merengue. Too long, right? I think just writing it down helps me deal with it though. All those things make up the reality of who I am. Even if that's not who people see when they look at me, I need to always make sure that I see this person every time I look in the mirror. I need to make sure the woman I see there is proud to be all of those things. Make sure that I have pride in who who I am, and embrace ALL of the culture that I have chosen for myself.

After all, several very wise women stated the fact that, "Cultura es Orgullo, Orgullo es Exito", "Culture is Pride, Pride is Success"!

Sugarpill Contest Entry... Colorful Winter

Hola, peeps!!! This look came about by me finally getting the guts to actually enter a makeup contest for once. I came close once before when I saw a cool contest that would be inspired by candy, but after I saw my final product...I chickened out! :(  Well this time, I decided to give myself a real shot, and I must say that fairly satisfied with the outcome! Here's a rough step-by-step of how it turned out! (I took pictures along the way, in case I messed up, lol). For my "Colorful Winter Wonderland", I decided to draw a New Years' scene from my hometown, New Orleans. It's fireworks being shot over the St. Louis Cathedral...

First, I drew a rough sketch of my picture in white pencil eyeliner. 

After I was satisfied with the white sketch, I went over the cathedral in black liquid liner.

Since the building is white, I went in with my MUFE Flash color palette and added a white base for the white and gray shadows. For a first try, I started off BIG!!! Imagine trying to draw a white building AT NIGHT! That leads to needing all sorts of shading of white and gray for all the shadows.

To finish the cathedral, I colored in the steeples, colored in the front door, added shutters, and went back over some of the outlines that got smudged. (I forgot to go back over the steeples though... next time.)

After I finished the cathedral, I started on the night sky background. I started at the bottom with a sparkly black to simulate the dark, star-filled sky...

As I got closer to the fireworks on the other side of my face, I switched to a dark blue/black. Both of these darker blues came from the Wet N Wild palette, Blue Had Me At Hello.

Right next to the fireworks, I made the sky the lightest, since the sky would be lit up due to the pyrotechnics. I got 2 lighter blues from NYX, even though I am still mad about their 12th anniversary sale fiasco and will NEVER order anything from their site!!! After I finished the night sky, I went over my original white firework sketches with the NYX jumbo pencil in Milk. This was to help the fireworks standout as much as possible once I colored them in.

I colored in my the biggest starburst with a holographic gold glitter. Unfortunately the flash washed out the color so it mostly looks white still, but if you look closely you can still see some of the gold flecks. Too bad I did this in the middle of the night! :( With natural daylight, I think I could have picked up how awesome it looked in person. Maybe a better camera would have worked too, but I'm working with what I've got.

Since the gold holographic glitter didn't work out too well, I decided to nix the silver glitter I had for another of the bursts. Instead I went in with 3 different Sugarpill colors: Absinthe, Flamepoint, and Asylum. I LOVE Sugarpill, it's so bright, and was perfect for this look. After I touched up the cathedral and night sky again, I was content to say that the pictures below are the final product!!!! Hope you enjoy my efforts! Wish me luck!

TADA!!!

I did pretty well on this side considering it was hard to reach with my left hand! 

Added a festive hat!

Strike a pose!

Products used:

Wet N Wild palette- Blue Had Me At Hello

NYX jumbo pencil, milk

NYC liquid eyeliner, black

NYX eye pencil, white

Sugarpill- Flamepoint, Asylum, Absinthe, Tako

NYX ultra pearl mania- baby blue pearl, space pearl

NYX glitter mania-Hot gold

NYC lipstick- Ruby

MUFE flash color palette- black, white

BH cosmetics 120 palette, 1^st edition

HASTA LUEGO!

We All Live in a Turquoise Submarine...LOTD

Hello, All! New blogs 2 days in a row? I know, shocking! But after trying out my new China Glaze polish, I had to throw on a shirt that matched it, and then my makeup had to match my shirt! I decided on my tie-dye Beatles shirt that features the Yellow Submarine, which is how I chose to label this entry. So here's my look today:

Yeah, sexy, I know. So as promise, I used one of my new Sugarpill shadows here, Royal Sugar. I like that it's super full of shimmer, but it tends to end up swirling in the air as I apply it, and that creeps me out a little for some reason. Maybe I feel like I'll choke on it or something...who knows. I also used Afterparty here, and both are amazing! Amy knows how to make her colors bright and awesome!

I didn't like the polish matte, so I added glitter!

Here's the polish that started it all: China Glaze's Turned Up Turquoise! I also put a coat of nails inc. special effects holographic glitter topcoat in Electric Lane. I then threw on Sally Hansen's No Chip Acrylic topcoat.

I tried something new with my hair, gathered it to one side, twisted it, and put a barrette near the bottom.

I think it turned out pretty well... I may try this again.

Close up!

Products Used:
UDPP
NYX jumbo eye pencil in Milk
NYX Ultra Pearl Mania in Space Pearl (LP 16)
Sugarpill Cosmetics, Afterparty and Royal Sugar
BH Cosmetics, 120 palette 1st edition, turquoise
Hello Kitty eyeliner in Blueberry and Blue Sky
Wet N Wild lipstick in 511B

Check the nails, they match!

Look at all of that matching awesomeness! Can't wait to actually have somewhere to go! Maybe this will be my next casual date outfit.

We all live in a yellow submarine... Love The Beatles!!!

Awesome Blue skinny jeans, matching my blue suede shoes (can't see them, sorry)

I got a little creative with my pictures, I love the colors!

Enjoying a gray day outside...

Hope you guys enjoyed,

HASTA LUEGO!

Sugarpill's Black Friday= PINK WEEKEND

Yo! So I went Black Friday crazy. Between shoes and makeup I am sure I spent a few hundred dollars. Due to NONE of the shoes fitting (see other post), the net gain I got from all of these sales totaled to be 3 loose pigments from Sugarpill. Even though I have not reviewed the pressed shadows yet (promise it's in the works), I decided to do a quick write up of my Black Friday purchases. I bought Asylum, Absinthe, and Royal Sugar.

They arrived pretty quickly, about 5 days after the anticipated ship date. I think it only took about 2-3 days to make to me all the way from California. They arrived in a small box with the Sugarpill logo. When I opened the box, I was greeted with the usual bright fuchsia paper and a hand-signed receipt.

I also got my second sample of Magentric, which I still have never opened. I love the packaging for each box and how each individual color has it's own symbol: a crown, cat, and star, respectively.

All of these shadows (and most if not all of the others) are vegan and cruelty free. While that isn't really a major factor for me, I know that recently a lot more eco-conscious people are buying product that are not tested on animals and they don't use any animal byproducts. I chose these particular colors because they are very bright, and not like any of the colors I own. I have wanted Absinthe since I first heard about Sugarpill, but since I bought  all of the pressed shadows at one time, it had to wait a few months. Absinthe is a bright lime green that really stands out in every look I've seen it in. It's also sparkly, which can make the dramatic color a litttle more wearable in my opinion.

Royal Sugar is an awesome cobalt blue. I have wanted this color ever since I got my blue suede pumps. I feel like they are a perfect match and wait to try them out together. It'll probably be some sort of blue smoky eye and bright red lips. I wanna go for a classic pin-up type style with it, then of course something more bright and outrageous later. It has a lot of sparkles, but I have seen a lot of looks with this color that look pretty matte.

Last but not least is Asylum. it a dark, sparkly orangey-red color. I fell in love with it when I saw someone do an amazing phoenix look with it.

Overall, I give this whole haul a 5/5, here are some swatches:

From top to bottom: NYX in Milk, Milk+e.l.f. primer, primer, dry

In making these swatches, I noticed several things: Royal Sugar has a LOT of glittery fallout, and Absinthe does not have quite as much staying power as the other two. Still all great overall!

Hasta Luego...